Ah, the joys of random Google searches. I found this, which I find far more hilarious than I should. Anything that references Kin Corn Karn and the "I Love to Sing-a" cartoon is automatically great in my book.

This is a shot in the dark, especially since no one reads this, but maybe someone will stumble upon this during a random google search and help me out.

Several years ago, while flipping through the AM dial late at night, I heard this torch song. The only lyric I can remember is the end part - "springtime can really bring you dooooown," with the (female) singer sounding world-weary and pained, like she was going through heroin withdrawal or something. I can remember other parts of the melody. It seems a lot like Springtime Can Really Hang You Up the Most, but the lyrics aren't exactly the same. Anyway, it was really enthralling in a weird way, and I never caught who sang it or which song it was. Anyone who has any idea of what the hell I'm talking about, please email me.

More stuff I've downloaded lately:

- J. Mascis and the Fog, "Free So Free." J. plagiarizes from his old material so often here that he should be glad that Saul Zaentz doesn't own the Dinosaur Jr. back catalogue. I took a listen to this because I heard "Tell the Truth" somewhere and liked it; unfortunately, the rest is pretty forgettable.

- Zwan, "Mary Star of the Sea." Let the mid-90's nostalgia wave commence! This makes me feel like putting on my Doc Martens and heading down to the Circle K to pick up a six pack of OK Soda. No, actually, it makes me want to listen to "Siamese Dream" again instead. It takes a lot for me to swallow Corgan's horrible whine and stupid lyrics, and the melodies or musical textures just aren't there on this one.

- Birthday Party, "Hits." (actually purchased this one) I'm not much for Nick Cave's solo stuff - too mannered and stilted. But this is the real deal. Blues/rockabilly/garage all mangled into a horribly noisy mess, while Cave generally screams and rants instead of the croon he would later adopt with the Bad Seeds.

- Essential Pebbles vol. 1. Probably the best place to start if you liked the Nuggets box set and are interested in more 60's garage rock. Despite the fact that they were probably recorded in a public bathroom, there's no denying the power of anthems like "Green Fuz" or "Suzy Creamcheese" or "Doin' Me In." Warning: may contain trace elements of David Clayton-Thomas.

I hadn't been following this missing pregnant woman case until I saw the news today, so I missed the fact that her husband claimed that he went fishing on Christmas Eve.
Yes, fishing on Christmas Eve. That has to make the list of Worst Alibis of All Time Ever. Did he steal that from Tommy Flanagan or something?

There's nothing better to disabuse me of the occasional romantic notion I have of ditching my career and working a blue collar job than shoveling my car out of two feet of snow. I'm aching in places I'm not used to aching.

OK, enough weather bitching, here's three things that rule at the moment:

1. Nuggets II. I was disappointed with this at first, but it's grown on me. There's still too much twee, precious British psychedelia here and the set could've easily been edited down to three discs, but the gems are incredible. Why didn't "Mud in Your Eye" by Les Fleur de Lys or "I See the Rain" by Marmalade become colossal hits to be endlessly replayed on oldies or classic rock radio? (On second thought, maybe it's better this way.)

2. Dave Chappelle's show on Comedy Central. Surprisingly more hit than miss (the black white supremacist and drug education bits from the first two shows are instant classics), and at least the failed sketches aren't of the bad-SNL-one-joke-for-seven-minutes variety. Not as good as the late, lamented Mr. Show or Upright Citizens Brigade, but a hell of a lot better than the perennially mediocre SNL or perennially awful Mad TV.

3. 99 cent spicy ranch chicken sandwiches from Checkers. Not quite up to the high standards of the Wendy's spicy chicken sandwich, but you can't beat the price.

For once, the Storm of the Millenium of the Century hype from the local newscasts was right. A foot of snow the last time I measured (around 3 p.m.), with no letup until late Monday. It's times like this that make me miss being in school - classes would just be cancelled for a week and I wouldn't have to worry about it. But as soon as the offices open back up (probably Tuesday) I'll have to drive around in this mess and worry about making up the work I missed.

There are a bunch of things I could be doing today, but instead I've spent the whole day looking at junk on the internet and listening to online radio. Eh. What I really want to do is hibernate until the first warm week of March.

At the risk of sounding like a hack 1980's-era observational comedian, it's time for a new feature on the VBGS - What Up With That?

- This week's headline in the National Enquirer: "TRAITORS! Hollywood Celebrities Support Iraq". Is there any form of media that isn't controlled by the right wingers now? What's next, those poorly mimeographed socialist flyers you find in certain parts of large cities?

- The chorus of Bruce Springsteen's new single. Uh, Bruce, why are you stealing lyrics from the Children's Television Workshop?

- Just kidding about the terror alert. Can we all quit paying attention to that stupid fucking color code now? And would those of you who still believe anything that our government tells us quit believing in the tooth fairy already and develop the world weary sense of detachment and cynicism that will be necessary to survive living in a regime run by manipulative, pathological liars?

(OK, I promised myself I would limit the political invective on this thing. Back to light, fluffy nonsense next time.)

At work, I overheard that a resident at one of our client's housing associations was murdered today in a domestic dispute. Happy Valentine's Day, everybody.

I was looking back through some of my aborted attempts at songwriting, and I actually tried to use the line "castigate the masses" in a song once. Jesus.

I'm really looking forward to seeing this. Loner rock (to coin an annoying buzzword) has long been an interest of mine, and the Jandek mythos and music is absorbing. The movie doesn't unmask Jandek (and really, unless Jandek is really Lou Reed or something, what's the point?), but it looks like an interesting overview of the whole Jandek mini-phenomenon.

For those of you not familiar with Jandek, I highly recommend visiting your preferred file sharing program and downloading a few tracks. Basically, it's mostly tuneless acoustic music (neither the terms "folk" nor "rock" really apply). Jandek plunks away on a few strings or a single "chord" in no particular rhythmic or melodic fashion while singing in a mournful half-mumble, occasionally breaking into a higher-pitched yowl. The lyrics make little narrative sense yet somehow paint a vivid picture of despair and resignation. The overall effect is compelling yet more than a little disturbing - there's a sense that this was not meant for public consumption. It's almost like listening to someone's therapy sessions. (Of course, the real reason Jandek is so notorious is because of the backstory, but the music elevates him from being a mere curiousity.)

A bunch of things I've bought or downloaded recently:

- Vintage Violence, John Cale. Criminally underrated album - 60's pop a la the Association or Pet Sounds-era Beach Boys mixed with off-kilter lyrics and a generally odd, ominous atmosphere. Particularly great is "Gideon's Bible," which melds Wes Montgomery-esque jazz guitar, Cale's Welsh brogue rolling over the lines of the verses and a soaring, classic chorus. But the whole thing is pretty damn good.

- The Singles, Smiths. To replace the Best..I and II that I sold back a while back. All the songs you really need, and not too much of the trademark Morrissey self-absorption or precious over-cleverness.

- Here's Where the Strings Come In, Superchunk. I'm "supposed" to like these guys and all, but I'm underwhelmed. I'm filing them with Archers of Loaf as pretty generic mid-90's indie stuff - loud but not sludgy guitars and decent but forgettable melodies. "Slack Motherfucker" is a great anthem, though. (I know that's not on this album, just a general observation.)

- Inspiration Information, Shuggie Otis. Not really the "lost classic" that everyone hyped it up to be, but not bad. The title track is a worthy addition to the 70's funk canon. But the Brothers Johnson version of "Strawberry Letter 23" completely kicks the ass of the version here.

- Hex Enduction Hour, The Fall. It's the Fall. It was released before 1987. What more do you need to know? I still rank Grotesque (After the Gramme) or Slates slightly above this, but it's all damn good.

Playing the old arcade game Red Baron while listening to "Djed" by Tortoise creates a rather interesting altered state of consciousness. Try it, it works. (Drinking a couple of Dr. Peppers beforehand probably helps.)

It’s pretty easy to see from the posting times in this blog (all between 9:30 and 11:00) that my life is insanely regimented. Here’s every day of my life:

6:30 mutter “fuck” or “shit” under my breath, realizing that it’s the start of yet another soul sucking day
6:32 shower/brush teeth/shave/dress
7:00 leave house, sit in god awful DC traffic for 20 minutes to an hour
8:00 work
12:00 eat lunch (almost always alone in car, almost always the same thing - garden salad, small bag of chips and a Coke)
12:30 work again
6:00 leave work, sit in god awful DC traffic for 40 minutes to an hour and a half
7:30 eat dinner, read internet stuff, listen to music
8:00 study for CPA exam
9:00 more internet/music
10:00 read (or continue internet/music, if I’m mentally drained from the day)
11:00 go to bed, lie in bed contemplating pathetic nature of own life
12:00 start to fall asleep, have horrifying self-realization or terrifying half-dream, resume contemplating pathetic nature of own life
12:30 finally fall asleep again (waking up every two or three hours)

I’m currently reading “Lord Jim” by Joseph Conrad. Or trying to, anyway - I’ve been stuck on the first 100 pages for about a week or so. A lot of people criticize Conrad for the glacial pace of his plotting, and while I’d differ about “Heart of Darkness” (my favorite novel of all time, and still gripping for me after several reads), I’d have to concede the point on this one. There’s way too much exposition and unnecessary detail about late 19th century nautical practices. Skip the Jack London shit and get on with the man-in-conflict-with-his-own-primal-nature action, already.

I realize that I'm being a killjoy here, but I was rather disappointed in the recent news that the Simpsons will be renewed for another three years. I've officially given up on the show this year; too many cliched plots and one-dimensional characters. The classic Simpsons combined funny one-shot gags, humorous character-driven story lines, and plots that subtly satirized the culture without hitting you over the head the way, say, South Park is prone to do. Now all that's left are the gags, which aren't even very funny any more. The characterizations are too broad and one-note (and what's up with Marge's growing drinking problem? Please god, don't let there be a Very Special Episode about that in the near future.). The current Simpsons now reminds me of Family Guy or one of the other cheap animated knockoffs that failed miserably three or four years ago. So five or six years from now, the odds will be 50-50 that I'll get a lousy episode whenever I watch the reruns.

Three things that rule at the moment:

1. "(We'll Be) United" by the Intruders. One of the first Gamble and Huff hits - three minutes of pure pop transcendence. Enough to make even the most preternaturally cynical among us believe in true love forever, at least for three minutes.

2. Calcium-enriched orange juice. Vitamin C + calcium - the horrible taste of milk. If they would just figure out a way to grind up some protein and put it in this stuff, I would rely on it for all my nutritional needs.

3. The New Jersey Devils. 12-0-1-1 in the last 14? Let's hope that Lou Lamoriello will be able to make the final trade to put them over the top. I'm thinking that Zigmund Palffy just might be to the 2003 Devils what Alexander Mogilny was to the 2000 Devils.

Hi. Due to the Blog Proliferation Act of 2002, which requires every person in America to maintain a blog, I am legally mandated to post boring personal information and inane observations here on a regular basis.

About me - I'm 24. I live in the DC suburbs. I have an uninteresting accounting day job that I won't bore you with too much. I like music, quality sketch comedy, old video games, diners and other pop culture minutiae. I read some "serious" literature, but probably not as much as I should. Turnoffs include pretension, "indie" snobbery, cultural conservatism and rude people. I'm a failed musician and songwriter, although I can play a competent rhythm guitar or bass. I like to go for the easy joke. I complain too much and I'm massively self-absorbed, which explains this whole project in the first place.

Basically, no one I know is interested in the things I like, and I need an outlet for my various thoughts. (Apparently, holding conversations with yourself under your breath is frowned upon in polite society.) So let the pointless observations commence. You have been warned.