Friday, April 04, 2003

As we all know, U.S. companies stand to reap significant benefits in the rebuilding of Iraq. Sure, oil companies and defense contractors will benefit the most, but here are some other companies who will also belly up to the trough:

- McDonald’s - new, affordable McSubsistence sandwich (consisting of a couple of leaves of lettuce and the middle bun from a Big Mac) will be targeted to growing Iraqi “starving and desperate” demographic

- Ronco - preparing to launch a new line of products to be advertised on late night Iraqi TV: Rubble-B-Gone, EZ Prosthetic Limbs and a food processor powered by depleted uranium shells

- Chef Boyardee - will unload 500,000 cans of Pac-Man pasta that have been sitting in a warehouse in Passaic, New Jersey since 1986

- Mail order bride services - a whole new poor, crumbling country full of women looking for a green card to peddle to lonely, socially inept American males

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