This blog will be on hiatus for the next week while the author fails the CPA exam. Here are some exciting features in the works that will debut after I return:

- clever observations about airplane food, the differences between men and women, and why white people are so stiff and uptight

- the long awaited conclusion to the “Ed Gein Joins the Cast of ‘Trading Spaces’” sketch

- political commentary guaranteed to reinforce your preexisting opinions and stimulate no original thought or insightful debate

- a complete guide to which C-list celebrities are gay and straight (hint: huge shocker about Britt Ekland)

- excerpts from my one man show, Lovers Lane, about the tempestuous love life of pro bowling legend Earl Anthony

- a full listing of all the plot holes in the Nancy Drew mystery novels

- full frontal nudity