Opening Day tomorrow. (I realize that there have already been official games played, but I don't consider the Japanese series to be the real live Opening Day. But call tomorrow Opening Day (Observed) if you're a real stickler about this.) One of my favorite days of the year. Now I can start enjoying the White Sox' two months of pseudo-competiveness before they inevitably fall out of contention, poring over EQA and DIPS and support-neutral win-loss records (the real reason mathematics was invented) and planning another season of fantasy baseball glory.

I promise not to pull any George Will-ian rhetorical stunts here; enough has been vomited out about the lyrical qualities of baseball and the sport as a metaphor for life and a reflection of America and bleepblop. I love baseball, but people who have to invent some sort of deeper meaning for watching a game should really work on becoming more secure in their own tastes and interests. On the other hand, the people who always complain about "grown men playing a kids' game" are even more fucking annoying. C'mon, everyone, join us in the overflowing kiddie pool that is cultural relativism. Baseball is what it is - an entertaining way to kill a few hours, a fine meshing of strategy and physical force and a sport that lends itself to geeky obsession through the ability to document every single action through a series of statistics. And for me, Opening Day also serves as a celebration of the end of winter (which, of course, sucks) and a brief renewal of hope until the inevitable season-crushing disappointments of summer. So hurray for baseball, except for the Cubs (who are overrated this year, by the way, and will surely disappoint) and the Yankees.