Friday, October 31, 2003

This blog shall rise from the ashes with new updates in mid-November. In the meantime, please enjoy these fine web-based products:

- Naked Lunch by William S. Burroughs and Incidences by Daniil Kharms.

- Some great streaming radio stations from Live365:
This is Radium Crass (a mix of skewed pop, experimental noise and comedy)
Left of the Dial (alternative/modern rock/indie/blahblah)
Radio Club 870 (pre-/no prefix-/post-punk)
Turn Me On Dead Man (psychamadelic/garage freakouts)

- The 365 Days Project - an MP3 each day of outsider music, weird religious tracts, celebrities embarrassing themselves, and other aural curiousities. (More, oh much more, on this when I return.)

- If you haven't yet, check out the sites linked on the right. Lots of smart, insightful, funny commentary inna blog style.

Thursday, October 23, 2003

Haven't posted a new MP3 in a while, so here's the MP3 of the fortnight or month or whatever unit of time it's been since the last one - the original version of "Dazed and Confused" by Jake Holmes. This version is actually better than the more famous Led Zeppelin version, in my opinion - it's more tense and builds dramatically through the song with a seething intensity that's missing from the great but overwrought Zeppelin rendition.

Monday, October 20, 2003

The Continuing Adventures of Ralph Pruitt, The World’s Last Honest Man

“So, Ralph, how was your weekend?”

“Miserable. I spent all weekend sobbing profusely and drinking Tanqueray straight from the bottle. At least I blacked out for most of Sunday, but when I awoke, I resumed my constant screaming, pleading for the release of the death that will not come.”

“Oh.”

“How about you?”

“Oh, pretty good. Watched the game yesterday, saw ‘Veronica Guerin’ with the wife.”

“How was that?”

“Better than you’d think, actually.”

Sunday, October 19, 2003

A few impromptu thoughts on the base-ball matches of the past week:

- It goes without saying that Grady Little is a dope. I watched the fateful 8th inning unfold with shocked disbelief, amazed that Little would let Pedro Martinez die on the mound as Yankee after Yankee pounded his movement-less breaking stuff and dying fastballs all over the stadium. This is an old Red Sox tradition of stupid managerial decisions - from starting Denny Galehouse in the 1948 playoff game to Don Zimmer mismanaging the pitching staff in 1978 to John McNamara not putting in a defensive substitute for the immobile Bill Buckner in 1986. That's why I hate this "Red Sox are cursed" business - when you keep bashing your own fingers into a pulp with a hammer, no sensible person blames it on "The Curse of Home Depot."

- The Steve Bartman incident just goes to show you what White Sox fans have been saying for years - Cubs fans, by and large, are more interested in grabbing souvenirs and downing Old Styles than actually following a winning club. Maybe a near miss like this will finally shake Cubdom of that whole goofy "gosh, they're losers, but we love 'em anyway" thing, but I doubt the Tribune Company would want to let go of a marketing technique that has served them well (and allowed them to duck responsibility from fielding a competitive club). And yes, I did indulge in a bit of schadenfreude over the Cub loss. Pathetic, maybe, but when you root for a team that last won a playoff series 61 years before your birth, you have to take your thrills where you find them.

- That "God Bless America/Take Me Out to the Ball Game/Cotton Eye Joe/Oye Como Va/New York, New York/Afternoon Delight/Nights in White Satin" medley they play at the 7th inning stretch of Yankee games - could that be a little more self-indulgent, please? Could we get Rick Wakeman to do a 19 minute keyboard solo? Maybe an interpretative dance salute to Kevin Maas? There's no better way to express your patriotism than by having a huge, expensive masturbation session in front of 57,000 people. It's like measuring someone as a true American based on the size of the novelty hat they buy on July 4th.

- Thanks to the miracle of constant commercial repetition, I now have the following phrases etched into my memory:
"Standing on the corner, watching all the guys go by."
"And now for ze best part, he's reeech!"
"It's OK, I had Subway."
"His father is the DISTRICT ATTORNEY!"
Long after I'm permanently ensconced in some cheap, fly by night nursing home and I've forgotten my name and the names of everything and everyone around me, I'll be muttering those phrases over and over again.

Wednesday, October 15, 2003

Issue #2 of the High Hat is up and ready for your perusal. Lots and lots of smart, witty, thoughtful, original pop culture commentary and analysis from some damn fine writers.

And, lest I forget this blog's chief mission of endless self-promotion, here's my contribution - an interview with underground pop-funk legend Gary Wilson.

Sunday, October 12, 2003

(With all apologies to the Onion.)

Election of Schwarzenegger Causes Californians to Lose Smug Superiority

Tuesday’s stunning victory by Arnold Schwarzenegger in California’s gubernatorial election has already had an instant effect on the psyche of Californians. Overnight, California residents, particularly in liberal enclaves such as San Francisco and Santa Cruz, have been forced to abandon their traditional sense of smug superiority and self-satisfaction over the rest of the country.

“I used to make fun of my cousin in Nevada for living in such a backward state full of rubes. But now, what can I say? The people in this state just elected a incomprehensible movie actor with no experience and no clearly defined plan besides ‘I vant to clean up Sacramento,’” said Elaine Strauss, a social worker from Alameda. “I guess I was wrong - people in this state is just as dumb as they are everywhere else.”

“Ever since California became one of the largest, most important states in the country in the early 1900’s, the sense that California is a special place filled with people who are more unique and intelligent than the rest of the country has become a huge part of this state’s definition of itself,” said Robert Milton, professor of sociology at UCLA. “It’s a tremendous blow for people to realize that California isn’t really the center of culture and progressive leadership that we had thought.”

“Governor Schwarzenegger,” he added, muttering under his breath. “What the fuck? I mean, what the fucking fuck?”

Even defenses such as irony or self-mocking humor have proven unsuccessful at warding off the shame and humiliation felt by non-Schwarzenegger voting California residents.

“I tried to make a joke about it the other day at work: ‘Governor Schwarzenegger? What’s next-’ and then I stopped, because I literally couldn’t think of anything more ridiculous,” said Alan Walker, a San Jose computer programmer. “I’m already looking for real estate in Seattle or Vancouver. I don’t think I can take another year of lame fucking Schwarzenegger impressions.”

Nevertheless, Californians continue to soldier forward and hope for the best.

“We survived Nixon and Reagan, so we can survive this,” said Strauss. “But it’s going to be irritating to be the butt of every cheap joke in America for the next year or so. I never thought I’d say this, but I really miss Pete Wilson now.”