The Continuing Adventures of Ralph Pruitt, The World’s Last Honest Man

“So, Ralph, how was your weekend?”

“Miserable. I spent all weekend sobbing profusely and drinking Tanqueray straight from the bottle. At least I blacked out for most of Sunday, but when I awoke, I resumed my constant screaming, pleading for the release of the death that will not come.”

“Oh.”

“How about you?”

“Oh, pretty good. Watched the game yesterday, saw ‘Veronica Guerin’ with the wife.”

“How was that?”

“Better than you’d think, actually.”